As I was sitting in Ye Olde English Pub quaffing my yard of ale,
alas, a young lass did walk by, wiggling her shapely tail.
I hopped off my wobbly stool, and down a crooked street I did give chase,
hoping to catch this beautiful lass, to make an invitation to my place.
But, alas my amorous advances were met with her devilish smile,
and to me she did say, "you might come instead to my place awhile,
For my master has failed to tend his gardens, and left my fields unplowed,
and I need a strong, virile man, and for all I will sing my praise to you aloud." -copyright 2011 John Fisher
It's a well known fact that women's shopping habits differ greatly from men's shopping habits. Before you continue reading, please be advised that this post is NOT INTENDED TO PISS WOMEN OFF; however, I know it will, so be forewarned. When women go into a store, their first and foremost shopping "flaw" is that they spend time looking at things that they have no intention of buying on that particular shopping trip. This is just a waste of valuable time that a woman could be making better use of. (I have some suggestions, but I suspect they would be greeted by a flurry of hate mail). The "proper" way to shop, is to know what you want, go into the store, get it, pay for it, and get out. There is no point in looking at stuff that you aren't going to buy. (Unless you're looking at cars or tools!!!) What's the point?
The second, and probably most frustrating "flaw" in women shoppers, is that they do not know how to properly naviage a store with a shopping cart. It isn't rocket science ladies!!!! It's just like driving a car..........stay to your RIGHT!!! When you are navigating around the Produce Section in the supermarket where their are narrow aisleways inbetween produce bins, you need to realize that these aisleways are NOT for shopping carts, they are for people ONLY. Men know and understand these rules.
Also, why do you leave your shopping cart in the MIDDLE of the aisle, and then take TWO HOURS to read every label on every package on either side of your shopping cart, which results in you blocking the ENTIRE aisle for us shoppers who know the PROPER way to shop?? Is it just because you want to annoy us, or do you actually think your accomplishing some greater good by blocking the aisle? We probably wouldn't mind if you were a supermodel and you actually gave us a reason to be stopped and looking at you for two hours, but that is rarely if ever the actual case.
I suppose that perhaps we should request that the DOT paint double yellow lines down the middle of every aisle in every supermarket in America (which wouldn't be necessary if men had their own designated shopping hours.)!!!
And what is it with Shoes and clothes? Why do you not know what size you wear??? There is no reason why anyone should need to try on clothes or shoes. Know your size, buy it, and get out of our way!!!! Stores shouldn't even have fitting rooms or places for people to try on shoes, because all that does is give shoplifters a better cover to steal stuff. If you MUST try on clothing, then you should do it in the middle of the store where everyone can see what your doing, and the security staff can be relatively certain you aren't putting on garments under your street clothes and walking out with them. And WHY does anyone need to have more than three pairs of shoes??? You need one pair of black dress shoes, one pair of white dress shoes (or brown if you're a man), and one pair of sneakers. That's all anyone needs EVER!!!!!
Then, of course, it isn't enough that you don't know how to shop properly, why is when you get to the checkout, you credit cards, debit cards, and/or checkbooks are at the bottom of your greatly over-sized purse and it requires you to take a half-an-hour to find the proper equipment you need to pay your bill?? And of course, you will also be in the Express Lane (15 item limit) with 58 items in your shopping cart. As Chris Rock says, "That Ain't Right."
and clothes? Why do you not know what size you wear??? There is no reason why anyone should need to try on clothes or shoes. Know your size, buy it, and get out of our way!!!! Stores shouldn't even have fitting rooms or places for people to try on shoes, because all that does is give shoplifters a better cover to steal stuff. If you MUST try on clothing, then you should do it in the middle of the store where everyone can see what your doing, and the security staff can be relatively certain you aren't putting on garments under your street clothes and walking out with them. And WHY does anyone need to have more than three pairs of shoes??? You need one pair of black dress shoes, one pair of white dress shoes (or brown if you're a man), and one pair of sneakers. That's all anyone needs EVER!!!!!
says, "That Ain't Right."